Archive for October, 2008

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The Skinny of It

October 31, 2008

So over the past few weeks I have come across some issues that I thought were settled in my life. All be it not settled till after college but mainly out of mind. The dreaded skinny comments. Have you ever reacted to something and reacted in a way you thought you would not. I remember as a child people grabbing my wrist and saying “you are so skinny” “I can put my fingers all the way around it.” Now I know those who struggle with weight issues are like get over it you skinny b****. But it hurts the same. I want people to know that. So we were waiting at Cracker Barrell to get in and guy grabbed my wrist. I reacted quickly pulled my wrist and almost punched him. Wow didn’t know that still bothered me.

Well the other night a guy I look up said “I like a girl with a little more meat on her bones” His explanation was guys are visual. I am atracted to guys based on looks don’t get me wrong but more character, personality, work ethic ect. This hurt. I felt that I had been stabbed in the chest. I know he probably did not mean it that way. But, if a guy is reading this be tender with your words to ladies even if they are just friends. We listen and are easily wounded. I immediately without realizing it thought guys don’t think I am  attractive. I will never find someone. I am over it now. I soarted out my feelings. I talked to an ex… I know I know that is never good. It didn’t work out between him and I but he said me being skinny didn’t affect him. He thinks I am beautiful. So I wait for my prince charming who loves me just the say I am. So to humor you things not to say to a skinny person.

#1 You really need to gain some weight.

#2 You would look better if you gained weight

#3 You need to drink Ensure

#4 Do you eat?

I could go on forever. I just know the world would be a better place if we thought before we spoke. I am guilty of this at times. Ahhh I feel better!! Thanks 🙂

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Hope

October 27, 2008

Sorry for the depression session last blog but hey I needed it. I can always predict after visiting my Dad that I will be upset. Not that I don’t enjoy the time I just know too much. The medical profession to me is a double edged sword. God has been comforting me lately and he does it alot through music and scripture. Below are some lyrics from a song that I love by Aaron Shust called My Savior My God. I am not skilled to understand life. Life cannot be understood and my Dad’s illness does not make sense to me. So I draw closer to God for strength during this tough time. God had been teaching me to be still and stop life for bit. In this time he waters my soul and renews me for more of life.

 

Isaiah 58:11 “The LORD will guide you always;
       he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
       and will strengthen your frame.
       You will be like a well-watered garden,
       like a spring whose waters never fail.”

 

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

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Life is Hard…

October 25, 2008

Life is hard. We are not promised that this life will be easy. But I do know that without Jesus I would not be able to survive it. I want to warn you ahead of time this post is not a feel good post. It may hurt for you to read it. I am venting pain.

Today was a hard day. I went to spend time with my dad. Each day is hard after that. For those who read this and may not know he has a disease called PLS which is like Lou Gehrigs Disease and causes slow decline and muscle wasting. In July of this year he got a bacterial infection and had to have agressive surgery on his back. He almost died but made it through. I know God has a plan for the time he has left and I am trying to enjoy each time I get to see him. It is tough. What is tough it watching your father slowly loose his ability to speak and use his limbs. What is tough is watching him struggle to breath. What is tough is watching him barely be able to feed himself macaroni and cheese. What is tough is knowing he is bored because he can’t do anything but sit in his electric wheelchair. So what does God want of me in this situation? What is he trying to teach me? I know that I have already learned through my current bible study that I am in a love stage with Jesus  called Invincible Love. During this stage I know that Jesus loves me and will do all things well in his time. I sense his presence all throughout this situation and have joy through the pain. I know that his will is not mine. My will would be for my father to live much longer be able to dance with me at my wedding. I do know that his will is perfect and his plans are far greater than mine. So what do I do with the time left. I go sit with my dad so my step mom can go shopping. I sit there with him and watch Andy Griffith. I fix his lunch, give him a cup full of pepsi (his favorite) with his long straw and enjoy being there!! I spend time with him that was lost when I was younger.

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4 Day Weekend!!

October 18, 2008

Many would say you only work 3 days a week so why take time off. Because I can and have it! So this week I only work 2 days and next week 2 days 🙂 Yeah. Time to relax. Not much planned except to grocery shop, work out on Saturday and then to church on Sunday. I am excited for church on Sunday because (www.newspring.cc) is starting Beautiful a womens series. “Even when you don’t feel it. Even when you’re not happy. Even when you feel condemned. Right now, someone thinks you are BEAUTIFUL. God wants you to see yourself the same way.” I can’t wait to hear the message and am bummed I have to work every other weekend so I will miss it live. Definately will catch in on podcast.

In other news many of my close friends know that I am working toward getting out debt. Budgeting, envelopes, saving ect is now me 🙂 By November 2009 I will be debt free and then saving for a house. So… the big news is I wrote a post for Joe Sangl’s (www.joesangl.com) blog. It should go up next week! Maybe I will give you a sneek peek soon.

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Stewardship

October 10, 2008

Stewardship is defined by Webster as the careful and responsible management of something entrusted into ones care. I am speaking of stewardship in relation to money. I go to Newspring Church (www.newspring.cc) Check it out!! Perry did a sermon last week on giving. I know what you think not another sermon on tithing in the bad economy. Side note, if I hear the word economy many more times I may scream. I am ready for this election to be over. I was ready months ago. The world is going to be okay. Maybe banks should not have loaned money to people who could not afford it. We all need to live within our means and that means not spending more than we make. Ok I digress.

See last year I had the awesome opportunity to go on a ski trip to Colorodo. It was beautiful, fun and a great time with great people. So when the opportunity to go this year came along I did not think twice about it. Then Perry’s sermon hit me. Also, with the economy; gas, airfare, rental cars the price has doubled since last year. Don’t get me wrong I could go. I could work some OT and go I could halt my debt payoff and go. But big BUT is that a wise use of my money. See God has given me everything I have. My awesome job, car ect and it can be taken away at any moment. I am called to be a good manager of what he has given me. It Luke 12:48 it says to “whom much is given much is expected.” It hit me would this be a good use of my money?

Earlier this year I met Joe Sangl  (www.joesangl.com) and worked on a budget. If all goes well I will be debt free this time next year and can start working toward buying a house. Budgeting has not been easy and sacrifices have been made but by the end of this October student loans will be paid off!!! Yeah next two other debts and then I am free!!!!

I believe God puts people in your life so you can pour into them and then they in exchange pour back into you.A friend  Jen has done this for me. I love this girl and she is always able to give me perspective in situations. She helped me answer the question I already knew the answer to. 99% not going on the ski trip. Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) says you have to “Live like no one else now so you can live like no one else later” So that is what I am doing. Budgeting, working toward debt freedom and not going on expensive trips. It will pay off when I have a house!!!